Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Work Related.

One minute one I was thinking maybe I would just have a protean bar for dinner and the next minute I was steaming some broccoli and a tilapia  filet and popping some rice into the microwave. I had a protean bar for dessert.


I've decided that the people I work with are suicidal. Every day at least one of them does something to make me want to kill them. I think its an insurance ploy so that they can claim their death was work related. On a good day its just one of them, on a bad day they take turns. Some of them treat me like some sort of mentally deficient  house plant while others seem to be under the impression that since I know how to transfer calls that I must be some sort of technological wunderkind. I'm younger than they are so clearly I can make their computer work by force of will. I'm supposed to be able to walk into their office and magically cure whatever is wrong with their machines. Oh, yeah, clearly its your schmitlikter, its over heated. I'm going to drigelburt your hardleaf and root around in your sub menu file tree and just clear that right up. Right.

 I can get away with that because the best way to make your computer stop doing whatever it is doing is to turn it off period. Turn. It. Off. If you really want to screw with your computers mind or simply turning it off didn't work? unplug it, its like napalm . If that doesn't work you have to call IT because whatever you did to your computer is way beyond me. They could always ask our resident computer person but she's a highly capable young black woman and she scares the shite out of them.

She could help them and fix their computer but I'm less scary. Its their own faults their computers are always messed up. There is only so many times turning off it going to be helpful. Eventually, the real IT person is going to follow smell of burning plastic back to your office you're going to have to start rooting around in weird parts of the computer you've never been in and there are all these sub menus and files and you just know that if you hit the wrong button you're going to wipe out the whole share drive and probably nuke the server.

I like my solution better. Turn the mother off and go the fuck home. Screw this noise. Done.

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