Thursday, June 7, 2012


Dogger and I went to the post office and then walked around downtown, then went to the donut store where I very meanly decided that the twenty-two year old girl in front of me must be pregnant and not fat because no fat girl would ever wear a dress that made strangers wonder if they were pregnant and not just over weight.

The dress was also too expensive looking and a little severe to not be an expensive maternity dress, designed with the idea it can be worn with all her blouses for most of the pregnancy and spruced up with jewelry! and she can wear it afterwards too! Its nursing friendly! As if after wearing that bag for the last seven months she's going to keep wearing it indefinitely. Good idea but no. I hope whoever bought it for her didn't spend a fortune, it was still in good shape so maybe she can consign it afterwards.

In reality, it appeared to be a uniform worn at a maternity school run by angry women. Maybe navy blue was not the best choice.

I looked for a ring, because I am just that old. And she teased me too! she kept fluttering her hands around at her sides and I couldn't get a good look - perhaps she has practice at this?  I was confused by the guy she was with, what his role here was,  and why he kept talking about how tough sleeping late with a new puppy in the house was, but how he was manning up and taking care of the puppy's needs, despite the fact it woke him up really early in the morning.

I was like," She's pregnant! you asshole! Her puppy is going to be awake all the time! She won't have to worry about "going back to sleep" because she will never go to sleep in the first place! Stop going on about the hard life of a puppy owner! She's having a baby, clearly, soon and your puppy angst  is making her soup can sized hemorrhoids sting, don't be such a dickburger". I don't think he was the dad and I didn't see a ring on him either. I looked for  the line was long and I was bored.

There were two parents types with them and they clearly belonged to her, Puppy boy was not their problem or their focus, I hope to gawd my storyline is correct , because they didn't like him and Thanksgiving was always going to be tense. I was trying to figure how how far along she was  maybe she's due very soon? Its hard to tell with young women on their first time around. If she was thirty I say five months along, but twenty two? Last trimester? five months in and Jessica Simpson's' understudy?

I was fascinated by Puppy boy - maybe he was  a friend of a sibling or a cousin?The father so deep into denial he might need medical attention? He bothered me because his role wasn't clearly defined maybe he was just very comfortable with being solely boyfriend/babydaddy who was on his way out? Not the father but still into her? Maybe she's giving the baby up and he doesn't have a role at all? She seemed to be listening to his puppy talk, somewhat interested in it despite her age and stage of pregnancy, she wasn't carrying on her own  dueling monologue about being the first woman to ever be pregnant, so that was a little surprising.

I had another idea, Puppyboy is her brother in law! She is young but not painfully so, a newly wed with a planned early pregnancy. Puppyboy is babbling  about his puppy because he's never been this close to the pregnant woman before  and he doesn't know what to talk to her about! And the idea of his brother being a father is freaking him out and he's trying to prove he's  responsible and mature as well. Her husband is a grad student at NC State and he's at the library studying or at a evening class, and so she's entertaining Mom and Dad because their student apartment is tiny and hot and having everyone there is too much - Maybe Mom and Dad are in town to help in a the house hunt!  or to help them pack up and move to the Starter House!
The line was long and the place was understaffed.

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