Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Making the heart grow fonder


 Sunday I came to a decision : I can not come home every day for lunch forever.

I knew that eventually that this would have to happen but I was very happy to just let it happen organically. I didn't want to set a timetable or arbitrarily make a date on the calender and say "This is the last day". I wanted it to just happen, and it did.

Sunday I packed a lunch for myself and took it to work and as it turns out, spent part of my lunch hour getting a flu shot I had forgotten about - I was still able to  go back to my old stomping grounds at the foot of Dix Hill and ate my lunch while I watched the leaves fall and the birds and squirrels cavort.

And spent the rest of the afternoon praying fervently hat they dog wasn't destroying the office room. Needless to say I rushed home - Totally broke all the "rules" about not adding to the dogs anxiety by quietly coming home, visiting with the cat, going to the john, changing clothes and generally completely ignoring the dog for twenty minutes ( I haven't been able to do the full twenty) and then going in and non-greeting the dog with no eye contact and  no speech. Its completely unfriendly, but apparently, rushing into the house and racing to his side to greet him with high pitched baby talk and excitement, is not helpful and only adds to the anxiety the dog feels. Sigh.

Monday, I was (very quietly) greeted by pee. Not a lot of pee and clearly, it had been there for a while, but he hadn't destroyed any furniture or hurt himself so I took it as a win. I will have Natures Miracle on hand for the rest of my life, but its a trade off I'm will to deal with.

Monday I fixed my lunch and planned on spending my lunch hour reading my kindle and communing with nature through my car windows. Instead I spend my lunch hour at Sam's waiting or Rockets meds. The good part of this, was that I could not go home, I was trapped where I was and there wasn't anything I could do about it. The flu shot and the paperwork ate time on Monday and Sam's ate my whole lunch hour Tuesday.

I again spent the afternoon praying the dog wasn't destroying anything or hurting himself. I got home and found that he peed again, but this time he seemed to hold it longer because, well, you don't really want know how I figured that out, but I see progress. I do not think that I can with hold anymore water in the morning than I all ready am, he must have fluid! He does get wet food mixed with his dry but I still offer a little of the real stuff because I fear dehydration and kidney damage more than I fear a wet floor.

Saturday Rocket goes to the vet for his yearly and the Vet and I are going to talk about upping the dose of his new med and maybe upping the prozac. I really want us both to have peaceful afternoons.

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