Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Court Hockey

I walked Rocket yesterday and on our way back I saw a herd of hipsters camped out at some tennis courts - for a, um, "transitional" neighborhood, we have a lot of tennis courts - and they were doing something. A herd of them.On bikes.

Anyway, they were arranged in a clutch in the court and they had set up some 2x4s in the corners and they were on bikes, very, very expensive bikes, outfitted with wheels that cost more than my mortgage (I know this, I watched a show about the making of grotesquely over priced bike wheels). Someone shouted "MARCO POLO" and they seemed to be moving a puck-thing around the court with hockey sticks. I was like "if you were black kids screwing around on bikes and damaging the surface of the court with hockey sticks, the cops would be here now." But you're way too adorable  for that! Hipster trash.

I don't like hipsters. I find their smugness off putting and  I don't think the beards are clever, they look like fake TV Amish or fallen away Hasidim. The girls look fat in their baby doll dresses, and their ironic tea towels, clever crocheted vibe covers, and tacky tats are equally off putting. Did you know they invented gardens and they are the first generation to knit? I didn't know that either. They have made organic into a curse word and suddenly "local", "sourced" "non-GM" and "artisanal" are very triggering for me.  Also  the over use of "organic" makes me very angry. Not as angry as"Gluten Free", but pretty ticked. I am of the mind that all that babble and arbitrary yard sticks applied to food is just creating eating disorders.

I hate these children but at the same time, I need them to continue to multiply and have even more of them pay obscene amounts for tiny frame houses.  These children will buy anything anywhere no matter how sketchy, as long as its billed as "close to downtown", because that helps my bottom line. Spend, children! Spend!  Maybe someday they will put back our grocery stores and gives us  real restaurants that sell things that aren't fried.

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