Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Dog Dog Dog

Rocket officially lost whatever Big Dog status he may have had! He has now officially been reclassified as some sort of short haired hamster! I was in "his" room and out of nowhere this huge flying cockroach appeared! There is the very real possibility that it had touched me at some point before he became airborne. I screamed and tried to find a weapon, Rocket, the hunting dog, the  guard dog, the velcro dog! Wandered away while I was screaming and flaying away at the gigantic bug, it could have been an extra in Jurassic Whatever

I was being attacked by a pterodactyl and Rocket just went to the other room and lay down! I want to point out that I was screaming, flailing around and being very, very anxious and upset. And loud, very loud and he thought this was a great opportunity for a nap.

That I was "Upset" should have at the very least gotten his attention, anxious alone should have made him a little concerned, but the screaming and flailing, should have turned him murderous! He goes Male Dog because someone is walking a block behind us and the sight of me, his beloved mistress, his Mommy locked in a death battle with a insect the size of a slipper and he's unmoved by my plight! This is why we have big dogs! If we get upset, the dog is supposed to go all Cujo! There should have been even more pieces of dead bug all over that room than there were - I was pretty murderous! I beat the awful thing to death with a dog toy! And it did have to be beaten to death, I pounded on that disgusting thing and it kept coming back! A zombie roach! I'm still in recovery from the episode.

Rocket could have at the very least been worried about his toy! Nope. Napping, not at all upset that I was upset. The cat has shown more interest in my status.

And that led us into Night 2 of the Decrating

He really wanted to wander around. I really did no want him to wander around. I had an especially long day and now he wanted to make it an even longer evening. He got up, I put him back, he wanted to go see the cat, I wanted him to count sheep. I wanted to be asleep, he wanted for us to play his Dognition games!

We both finally went to sleep. I woke up because I had to go the bathroom and then I couldn't go back to sleep! So . Much. Fun. And since I couldn't sleep, Rocket suddenly discovered a deep well of  empathy or my selfish wakefulness was disturbing his slumber, and was now to be awake with me. He got up and I didn't have the energy to put him back. He also immediately fell back asleep, so much for feeling my pain.

I finally went back to sleep and he stayed on the bed. I made a trip to Wally and picked up a clearance leash, its camo, to  keep him in his bed. I have a whole wardrobe of leashes for him and every one of them has gone into hiding. Dicks.

We'll see how he reacts to being kept in his bed.

No comments: