Thursday, July 31, 2003

Hi All. The saga of the moniter continues. I still don't have one and I had to work at work yesturday, so no new entry today.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Shall We Play A Game?

Reading the paper yesturday morning I ran across a blurb that I thought was a joke. I thought the local rag had been taken in, or the AP wire had a crimp in it.

It was real.

The story was about the Pentagons new toy. A Futures Market in Terrorist Attacks. Not on the drawing board, not something kicked around at a Brain Storming meeting or some sort of Management retreat where the participants are encouraged to think out side the box. A Real Thing. A Funded Thing. A Thing with its own web site. How sick are they up there that no one came foreword about this sooner? How could this go on for even this long? This, quoted from the Raleigh News and Observer, July 29, 2003

in its statement Monday, DARPA said markets could reveal "dispersed and even hidden information. Futures markets have proven themselves to be good at predicting such things as elections results; they are often better than expert opinions."

Hog futures as crystal balls.

Traders would buy and sell futures contracts - just like energy traders do now in betting on the future price of oil. But the contracts in this case would be based on what might happen in the Middle East in terms of economics, civil and military affairs or specific events, such as terrorist attacks. Holders of a futures contract that came true would collect the proceeds of traders who put money into the market but predicted wrong.

A graphic on the market's Web page Monday showed hypothetical futures contracts in which investors could trade on the likelihood that Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat would be assassinated or Jordanian King Abdullah II would be overthrown. Although the Web site described the Policy Analysis Market as Middle East market, the graphic also included the possibility of a North Korea missile attack.

A Dead Pool. You don't have to waste time with celebrity deaths, the big boys traffic in foreign heads of state And not just any foreign heads of state just the ones in our way. The vaunted Road Map would work so much better with viewer cars on the road.

The asshats are going to make sure we all die. How many points for a civilian? Is an American, Christen, born again fundamentalist civilian worth more then a Jordanian, Muslim, fundamentalist civilian? Are civilians worth points or is on a block system? 10 or less, 20 or more over 100, under a 1000? Would genocide be graded on a curve?

This is why my flag droops, not for lack of wind, but embarrassment.

By lunchtime, this had appeared, quoted from the Washington Post, Online edition, July 29, 2003

Pentagon will abandon a plan to establish a futures market to help predict terrorist strikes, the chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee said Tuesday.

For Now.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Anatomy of a Monitor

The prognosis was not good. General malaise, fatigue, no energy and it wasn’t interested in its old favorite things – gently buzzing, flickering, and eating shortcuts.

It was the move that did it in. Not the cross-country trip in the back of a moving van, but the two-foot drag across the carpet on the desk. It tried to rally; I attempted to shake some sense in to it. I even took it to a homeopathic monitor healer. I took it to my brothers’ home and he said it was pathetic.

At first I blamed it on its video card. I thought, perhaps it was something reversible, something minor. Something cheap.

I am going to have to start a relationship with a new monitor. I went though the stages of grief

Denial– Damn. It must be the video card. Maybe it’s just the cord. This happened before and it fixed itself.

Anger – Damn. This sucks. I cannot afford this right now. Work Damn it! Why won’t you stay on! You are plugged in! Don’t give me this shit! Damn It! You are plugged in! Work! ARRRGGGGHHH! Work!

Bargaining – If you work I will stop screeching. I promise to stop going to stupid sites, I won’t waste your time with bad fanfic. I’ll watch more TV and let you rest. I’ll clean the cat and dog hair and dust out more often, I’ll get a plastic cover! Pleeezzeee work!

Depression – I can’t afford this. I’m going to have to spend a fortune to get this fixed and I have no money I can’t buy a new one, they cost a fortune. I should just get rid of my ISP. Why bother. Deep Sigh. Whimper.

Acceptance – Wow. Dell has cheap monitors. I’ve seen them at Goodwill, and I bet people pawn them. I get paid this week. I will get a new monitor. It will be all right.

Old Monitor was my first roommate. We moved into my first apartment together, we wrote letters to boyfriends together, we started my first lame web site together, we obsessed over cult TV shows together. Sigh.

Oh, Old Monitor. Why have you forsaken me?

What am I going to do? How am I going to obsessively check my email?

How am I going to get your big giant bulk back to my house?

SWF seeks Discount Flat Screen for LTR

Me, active computer user, online since 1995, daily computer user. My future monitor will only have really attractive wallpapers and coordinated color schemes, I practice safe screen saving. I’m looking for a hard working, politically active, sensitive, emplo- (whoops! Wrong ad) I’m looking for a hard working, easy to get a long with, quite, flat screen with nominal needs and a family history of very long life span.

Long story short, my monitor is dead I don’t have any extras sitting around so I will be with out a monitor until Thursday.

Edited to add, Look!!! Archives!!! They came back! I finally found the right place to ask for help, not from Blogger but from end users. So if I can't get to a computer, you can read the archives.

Monday, July 28, 2003

DYI and other lies the TV Told me

I got the room finished. All four walls all minty fresh all at the same time. It was a successful operation. Then I tried to turn my computer on.

There is a connection. My train of thought did not just slip off the tracks. The minty fresh walls on the walls of my office room, the room where my computer lives. I had to move my desk out of the way to paint the final wall. It only had to move about three feet. I cannot move it myself. Damn Swedes.

I called Brosky and he and I arrange a time for him to come by and help me out. In the mean time I the whole except for a narrow sliver behind and above the desk. All is well. Brosky arrives and we move the desk the needed feet and I paint the rest of the wall. We out the desk back and I tidy the room up. It looks great, and the curtains aren’t even up yet. More on the curtains later. Or as I now think of the experience, The Battle Of Wounded Finger

But then.

But then I decided to check my email, ya’ll don’t write me, but I still manage to get a lot of email. Spam, really, but they love me and my non-penis – so much so that they are tireless in their attempts to help me grow one. Anyway. I turned the machine on. I turned the monitor on and it turned itself off and I turned it on again. It turned itself off… And again. And again. I turn off the whole machine. I try again. The monitor turns itself off.

I’m by this time getting a bit, to say the least, concerned, which is nicer then the twenty or so words I used at the time that were not “concerned”. Words like Mother! Freakin’GodDamnedPeiceofShite! @#$ I was so mad I was using speaking in tongues BlfrtyGrwetqCrd also can be translated as You and your Mother, you! @#$%^&*!

I decided that I should go watch BBC.

Is there any programming on BBC America that are DYI orientated? And they never do anything to the computers in the room. No matter what Moroccan Blue nightmare they inflict on the room. Bastards.

So I played with the cat until he bit me.

By that time a garden show came on and it lulled me into a happy place. So I tried to computer again.

I’m going to have to watch a lot of garden shows.

Behind the Cotton/Poly Curtain

The curtains arrived! They looked great in the room even in while in a pile on the floor. I bought an old-fashioned house and it came with old-fashioned curtains. I bought old-fashioned curtains. I bought very large old fashioned curtains. I don’t know where these puppies came from but they had windows taller then my ceilings. And wider then my windows. So they, drape in a very, lets say, luxurious way, they puddle on the floor like a prom dress at midnight. Getting those luxuriouscurtains up there in the first place made me want to puddle on the floor.

Curtains are heavy. Lined curtains are heavier. Standing on a twitchy office chair to hoist these heavy things up was stupidest. I did not enjoy myself. It started out badly and I should have known. Firstly, the new curtains didn’t have all their little pointy hangy things, so I had to go rob my old curtains and harvest the pointy hangy things from them. The new curtains are larger. Need more pointy hangy things then the old curtains. I scored enough to get most, but not all the pointy hangy things I needed for the front window. I out the pointy hangy things on differently from panel one to panel two. I had to rehang panel one. Standing on the twitchy office chair. Joy was not had. Right now, go kiss your tab topped curtains.

The little window is still naked. No pointy hangy things for it. Sad.

The dogs crate does not add to the whole Minty Fresh theme I was going for in the office room, the cats climbing tree does not add a great deal either. But.

The light is so much nicer. It seems cleaner then it did before. It room looks so much better.

You think BBC America could be talked into running a DYI computer monitor repair show?

Friday, July 25, 2003

Thumbs for the Memories

Workers Comp! I have lost range of motion in my thumb and it negatively affects my ability to do my job.

Honest. It hurts. It didn’t hurt this morning, so it isn’t a painters thumb issue. It’s filers thumb. It has made it impossible for me to do my job efficiently.

I’m going to have to see multiple specialists and visit many clinics. Clinics in foreign countries. Countries with a lot of oceanfront. I can see me being debilitated for possibly the rest of the summer and into the fall.

There will of course be a need for a companion. A young, muscular, attractive companion. Named Buck. He should work out a lot. He needs his strength to care for me.

I will also need specially adapted tools to help me live life the way I did before this tragic work related injury befell me. I think I need a whirlpool. And a hand massager. Named Lars. Lars and I will work very closely together. He may need to be available at night to – I feel sure that the thumb pain will increase at night.

The State in its stateness will have to foot the bill for this injury. They hurt me. Their rotten cabinets. Did I mention I also think I should get a temp out of this. Named Sven.

With my handicap I also think I should get a new house. One designed for my specific new needs. I want it to have very expensive, very deep, very soft carpet through out – except where I want there to be fabulous hardwoods. I will need a large screen TV.

I will of course need an aid to use the remote for me. My thumb is too injured to properly change the channels and my delicate sense of self would be damaged if I had to struggle to change the channels – it might make me feel bad about myself and would really set back my recovery.

To counteract this poor self-esteem issue and keep my recovery in schedule, to keep my spirits up and keep my recovery moving forward, I will need a counselor. Named Wesley.

I am concerned that I am going to be unable to properly feed the animals and myself. Scooping dog and cat food not to mention the cat box, I will need a Dog and Cat wrangler. Named Otto.

There is the question of the yard work. The mower would play havoc and most likely reinjure my thumb. I am a bit house proud and I want the yard kept after and the flowers tended and replaced when they go bad, as flowers do. A gardener. Named Jock.

Just sitting here I have done three things that hurt my thumb. The space bar can hurt if I try to use my thumb to do it, the mouse can make it hurt, and I got my hair out of the way and it really, really smarted. I am obliviously going to need a secretary to do my typing. Named Alvin.

Since discovering that my ADLs (activities of daily living) have been badly affected by this thumb thing, I am going to need someone to help me take care of my daily activates. Brushing my hair could make me faint from the pain. I don’t want to think about the agony of washing that hair. I think tooth brushing is going to be very hard too. I will need more money.

I think I’m going to be in the house more, as out door sports will be out of the question. I can’t very well play volleyball, tennis, Frisbee - throw the ball for Dogger! I will need a bigger TV and better cable. I’m also going to need a cable modem. If I have to wait for my dial up it will remind me how painful it is for me to dial the phone and I’ll start to feel bad and that will set back my recovery and I might never get back to work.

It is all about my recovery. I will work everyday with my little phalanx of helpers to make myself stronger – physically, mentally, emotionally – so I can go back to work a better, more ready person. I will also need more help there too. I think I will need someone to file the single page stuff, another to do the packets, yet another to take care of the requests and I may possibly, answer the phone. They will by that time have replaced my broken, bent, warped cabinets with fancy, state of the art file storage.

And then I wake up…

Thursday, July 24, 2003

Designing nonSence

If this is even more stream of conscience that normal, I’m inhaling paint fumes.

I’m on a break from (insert chorus of Angels) painting walls It makes me happy. The last time I was being all Happy Painter Girl, the results were more Jackson Pollock then Martha Stewart. I had a great time, but it was a sloppy job. You really do not need swaths of bright blue paint on your white ceiling, your hard wood floors, your bathroom tile, the bedroom carpet, your cat…

I wasn’t going to paint my office room. I mean I was going to paint it, I just wasn’t going to paint itnow, but I stumbled upon perfect curtains at a Goodwill on vacation and it moved the painting up a bit because those curtains are not coming into this room. Not that they wouldn’t go, but because they would. They have some of the same tan - ish color in them and they would look nice. But I would never repaint the room.

When I bought this house I promised myself that I would never live with rental tan again. It was everywhere. A tan virus. It took many coats of virus fighting yellow and blue paint to kill it. Now, it was in the office. It’s not even tan its pinky tan. It is ugly beyond words and now at least most of it is a very lovely mint - ish green. Most of it being what walls are not blocked by heavy furniture that I can’t move alone. So unfortonatly the wall I look at is still Pinky-Tan while the walls I can’t see are all minty fresh.

I wasn’t planning to have any tan in my world at all, but the new curtains have some, actually, a lot and the bright white of my painted World fantasy isn’t going to look good with the drapes.

Who’s Room is it? Is it Mine or is it the Drapes?

I think that bright glossy white is ideal. I have it in the hallway and it looks fantastic. I want it in the living room and dining room also, but I’d that it would not go well with my furniture that went well with the rental baishe. It may make my furniture look less then it’s best. So.

The office has no such prohibitive furniture problems. My desk is white, white would look great with the paint, I like bright white. I think it would look really sharp. It would lend coolness to the room. It is the look I have been wanting in here. I wanted a garden room kind of look.

The curtains are not the filmy bright white curtains that I thought I wanted. They are however, much, much nicer then I would have been able to afford. They’re lined and everything. They have the same mechanism that the curtains the house came with. They have green! They have a leafy design! They’re lined! They are tan.

So. Here I am sniffing paint fumes and wondering if I should go with what I prefer or what the curtains would prefer. Does it matter? What if I put the tan and bright white? Would that be too much or would it, as I think, add depth and interest to the windows?

There is the blinds issue. I like them, they go well with the period of the house, they block the hated sun and I like them. The current ones are ancient, broken and ugly. I could get bright white blinds and full fill my bright white fetish or I could lose the blinds and rehang the white sheers - that I cannot find, that the house came with.

So who gets to make the call? the design elements or the designer?

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Hail To The State

Today I got an email. The state, having noticed that I, and the rest of the state employees haven’t got as much as cost of living increase in two years - The Employee Union Ha proudly announced that they set up a deal with K Mart to give us hard working State Employees a whole 10% off first Wednesdays of the month! Super! Only people getting paid as little as we are could get this excited about 10% off at K-Mart.

In my ever hopeful state of being I had hoped that while I was away from the job that someone might have done it while I was gone. No luck there at all. Everything just sat there. I even sent an email to the Nominal Boss before I left apologizing for leaving tasks for her office to do. I thought by alerting them that these things needed to be done, that they would be done. I even bought these people gifties in thanks for the work they were most certainly doing in my stead. I could be feasting on chocolate covered blue berries.

Instead I’m filing. And filing. And filing. There were three buckets in my office the day I left, and they were still there when I got back. I have been warned that there are four more in the Nominal Boss’ office. I guess those public requests are just going to continue to sit.

They showed me how the filled a new big cabinet for me. Thanks folks, really, but um. I needed the space at the other side of the alphabet. Did no one notice? Sigh.

Kitty has recovered. He was sleeping on the chair when I came home. He had been standing by the door waiting every time I left the house. I guess he figured that this time I will be back.

I got tired of kitty knocking things off my desk. I cleaned my office. No, really. I cleaned it up. I have a white desk. The carpet in there has pink in it, I honestly didn’t know that. Since last Christmas, it had been Daisy fur colored. I also discovered that trash can be thrown away. It doesn’t have to sit there and be trashy, it can be thrown away and be thrown away. Shocking.

Daisy is still vacationing (not unlike the archives). I’m never going to get her to agree to hang out in her crate any more. I’m going to have to find a way to make my doors shut to keep her from going Shoe Hunting; the Great Orange Hunter has a flawless kill ratio. The door into the hallway shuts, but it prevents kitty from being able to get to his box. I have a baby gate but my doorways are irregular and I can’t make it fit right. So it tips and totters and acts as an irresistible dog toy. Not a good thing.

I’ve noticed that since I don’t have a dog to walk, I don’t walk. I don’t leave the house. I had some bills to mail; I dropped it off on my way home from work – from my car. I don’t walk my neighborhood unescorted.

Since Operation Desert Twinkie was so successful, we launched Operation Jungle Twonkie on Monday. SSG Cuz is far away in a no twonkie zone and he needs Twinkies, or a Twinkie substitute. In this case, Twinnys. I don’t think they are as hardy as their name brand cousin, but I’m going to have happy thoughts about their travel readiness. They have a long way to go. I wonder if you can buy jungle camo Twinkies? I don’t suppose that green Twinkies would be very appealing. Is a Twinkie still as sweet if it is green? Or is it just the sweet smell of jungle rot? Would cream filling mildew? To make sure he doesn’t end up with a box full of funky food we also sent him Marquette specific stuff, you have to know Marquette to properly appreciated stuff. I thought we should have included a Shop – Ko bag. You have to be a long way from Marquette to get excited about a Shop-Ko bag. I think he’s far enough away to get down right teary over a Shop-Ko bag. I’m almost teary at the thought of a Shop-Ko bag and I am thousands of miles closer to one then he is.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

What I did over my summer vacation

Day 1

Leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again or actually, Hanging out at airports, don’t know when they’ll stop moving my gates around. Not as eloquent. But true sadly.
Lies My Airline Told me – You cannot take your cat on the flight. There are all ready two animals booked.

Truth – No such animals on any of my flights. I looked. Bastards. I’m going to send them Kitty’s feline shrink bills.

Good thing they didn’t have custody of my baby. They miss placed my checked bag and I didn’t see it again for two days. Note to self, check and see if luggage eligible for frequent flyer miles.

Vacation Starts! Woo-Hoo! It’s July 4th! Lets go see Fireworks!
Okay, the fireworks got left out in the rain and are too soggy to soar.

It’s also my Mom’s Birthday. Do you think she asked the Birthday Fairy for paper napkins with Flamingos on them? Well, her wish came true! Nothing says “I love my Mom” like paper napkins with flamingos on them. I guess you had to be there. Oh, you weren’t! You were at work! Ask not who the Birthday Fairy Tolls for, it tolls for thee!

Day 2

Where Am I? Oh. Oh! Okay, where is my paper? And why does the microwave not work? the microwave won’t work because it’s cold? WTF At least the dogger loves me. Okay, at least the dogger remembers who I am. My parents bought her name brand dog food! It makes gravy! . The dog food I buy doesn’t make gravy. It makes oil slicks.

No TV. No phone, No easy internet access, four radio stations - two playing polkas, the other twos haven’t changed their play lists since 1977. Good thing this place has a good personality.

Day 3-9

I can read! Why is Jim Chee such a horn dog? What’s with his endless self-doubt? How many bad guys have you put away? Get a damn grip. Do a healing ceremony for yourself. Why can’t he settle down and be Lt. Leaphorn? Gawd. And, Bridget Jones Diary was cool? Bad knock offs of same? Not cool.

My parent’s camera is so cool. My camera (bastard, film eating, scum bag) zooms, their camera Zoomz! it is so awesome! Some people drink, other people have um, habits, I don’t smoke. I take pictures. I took about twelve rolls of film. I could possibly have a problem.

Day 10-12

Road Trip! That’s right. We can leave here. True the end of the world is only about 10 miles down the road, but there are gift stores there, and to there I must go. Oh, and water falls.

Did you know what 40 degrees in July is still cold? Yes. It. Is. I found out that dogger makes an excellent bed warmer. Who would have thought? Dogger takes to the bed like a pro.

There was also Trivia Night. Finally, a liberal arts education pays off! And even better, that huge investment in X-Files ephemera pays off too – I know who Chris Carter is. Go Me! We do this every year. The people there got every week. They take their trivia very seriously- My People!

Dog is so happy. She runs! She swims! She meets deer! She is saving up goodies for good dog dreams. God knows home isn’t dreamy. But for the time being she is living the life of Riley.

She has my parents around her little paw. She has nice new bedding, a new longer leash and real bones to naw. She gets two more weeks of vacation. Bitch.

Day 13-14

I am the youngest Red Hat Lady. I wear a red hair squishy. We go to Big Bay, which is where Anatomy of a Murder was filmed. We ate at the Thunder Bay Inn. We shopped.

I got my film back. God it’s pretty here. I pack up. I am sad.

My flight is supposed leave at 7:10 AM. Which means we get up at 5:30 AM. Shite. My flight leaves at 11:30 AM. Which means we go all the way back home and then drive all the way back to the airport.

I get to what I thought was airport number one for the day. I find out my flight to airport number two has been cancelled and I am now on stand by on another flight. It would have been nice if they had told the other flight I was supposed to be there. They were deeply offended by my presents. Asshats. They wouldn’t let me on that flight, didn’t want me on it, so I got on it. Yay for the lady who didn’t show up for her flight. I got home. I did not have to spend a total of 8 hours in two different airports!

I am home. My kitty is nuts. My job is still there. Yay. I got more of my film back. God it’s pretty there.

Sunday, July 20, 2003

Home on the Range

please note that although it says Sunday, this is really Monday’s entry. I will assume my normal schedule on Tuesday

Hi Honey! I’m Home!

The same commercials are on TV. I was gone for two weeks and they haven’t changed the commercials. I was with out the benefit of TV for two whole weeks and they didn’t change the ads.

For entertainment I read The Weekly World News.
With a headline of Freaks, Geeks and Weirdoes the least they could do would be to supply some real freaks, geeks and weirdoes. You would think that with all the advances in technology we have seen, that they could cut and paste a cat head on a baby body and make it look convincing. I also read much of the last years best selling paperbacks, I read more on the last two weeks then I have in the last year. I’ve read so many detective novels I should get an honorary badge.

My whole life was different and the rest of the world can’t give me the common decency to change along with me? I am shocked. How could things not change? I was gone. It takes a great deal of supervision on my part to make sure that things progress at an even keel, you would think that with out me here to keep and eye on things that something other then Pirates of the Caribbean should have jumped the tracks. I could assume that things would freeze in my absence, that my present is required for the world to keep running. I see my absents as a reason for things not only to keep running, but to run smoother.

The same things I was keeping tabs on weeks ago are still in more or less the same state as when I left them. I was sure that they house down the way that had been gutted before I left would have reached at state of either completion or compaction in my absence.

BBC America is still running the same damn diet pill add as they were before I left. I watch that channel a lot. I can’t imagine how much I would hate that ad had I actually been here all this time to watch it. Do they think that by suggesting that the rest of us are too thin to use their pill that for some reason that we would not use it? This is a free country. We can all be speed freaks. Regardless of our weight. Damn it.

My shrubbery did use my absence as an opportunity to grow. They would have grown had I been here, but they certainly wouldn’t have gotten as big as they did. I may have trimmed them. Or Not. Still. It wouldn’t have been such a surprise. I also have a tree in the backyard those flowers. I didn’t know that.

A number of movies opened while I was gone. There were movie theatres there, but I didn’t go. Pirates of the Caribbean had to run of the tracks with out me. Pity.

Mr. Kitty spent his down time honing his mental illness. He also forgot that we, meaning I sleep at night. All night. Not for a few hours here and there. He also took to knocking things off low shelves. Why did he do this if there was no one here to be annoyed by it? What’s the pay off for him? Did he sit in the middle of the floor and yowl at the top of his lungs while I wasn’t here? Was he yowling for his stuffed lovey? Does he think if he shrieks at it, that some how it will yowl back?

Needless to say, I had a wonderful time. I actually got o have fun with dogger and not just our routine feed/water/walk. We got to play. She loves the water, she will fetch as long as you will throw something for her or she gets scared by a duck. Which ever comes first.

I spent yesterday scanning the first round of pictures I took; the site through my ISP will not allow me to publish the damn thing. How does it know I still have five or so rolls to be developed? The ISP is only following Blogger in its refusal to do things My Way - you may have noticed that the archives are still on vacation. Lazy bastards. I am still trying to figure out what kind of computer magic I’m going to have to learn to get those to appear . They exist, I can access those dates, but the archives are persisting to vacation.

I am a little concerned about the Job. I have been told that everything is Fine. I watched too much X-Files to believe that fine is Fine.

Saturday, July 12, 2003

News From the Front. Porch

What a glorious day! I lifted and toted planks of wood for a trail building project, I threw the ball in the lake for dogger, I played with a litter of 10 5 week old lab puppies! Oh My Gawd! they were like squishy bundles of happiness, I could feel my blood pressure dropping- all ready in the basement due to vacation, any lower and I might pass out - on the beach! What else? I took dog on a long,long walk - she was admired by everyone who saw her, she acted like a good dog too. I took some pictures, I even got a few of a very terrified chip monk. Oh, and the zoom lense feature is our very, very good friend.

It finally stopped raining and got pretty. It was fantastic.

Everyone needs five week old lab puppies in their lives. They also need an archive function that works. Deep Cleansing Puppy filled Breath, breathe in, breathe out, think about herds of puppies, platoons of puppies, puppies on parade...

Thursday, July 10, 2003

Greetings from Vacationland!


So far the airline kindly lost my luggage and gave me something called Microjammies in return which turned out to be just a little bag with toothpaste in it. I want my Microjammies!. I got startled by a deer that came out of no where, but was not the same deer that chases people and attacks their pets. I would like to see the brazen creature attack Dogger!

I also learned that the best way to get through Mordor is to remember how you got to Mordor in the first place. It also helps to bring bug spray and a Hobbit. Dogger has the big furry feet of a Hobbit so it worked well.

Speaking of Dog. She has learned to swim. She doesn't love swimming but she does love fetching balls out in the water; pretty much as long as they are not so far out that she has to swim to the ball.

It is cold. In July! Cold!

I guess this is all for now. I'm trying to work on the archive issue.

Friday, July 4, 2003

Leaving on a Jet Plane, I know when I’ll be back again…

I finally gave up the fight to being kitty with me. I was down to claiming that he is a service animal and therefore exempt from their fascist pet policy or duck taping him to my chest and saying I was off to have the operation.

He will be going to my parents’ house this weekend with Brosky and Alphagal. That makes me happy. It adds to the amount of stuff I have to pack up, but my baby will have people around for the weekend.

Yesterday sucked. You know all those “things” you have stacked up at work, that you keep saying that you’ll get to if you only had some time? I had a huge amount of those things. I don’t now. 12 hours of work later, I can leave with out feeling like I should have finished something before I left or for real? Worrying that I’m going to get busted for not finishing something before I left.

I carried heavy boxes out the hallway! Did anyone even offer to help? Nah. I forgot to call archives to have them picked up! Shit.

And I still left Nominal Boss and her flunkies stuff to do, which I apologized for because that’s what I do. Bad Day? I’m Sorry, lost something; I’m Sorry, Your office too warm? I’m sorry, Thought for one moment I actually cared? I’m Sorry.

I’m so tired.

12 hours at work, I work for the state damnit. We don’t work 12-hour days. We don’t get paid enough to care enough to work those kind of hours. And no, I don’t get over time. Thanks for wondering. But due to the State having no money and yet another year of 1.5 percent raise, I can vacation like a European! Even after I get back, I’ll still have three weeks of time! Go State! Giving us time instead of money. If I had money I could vacation with the Europeans.

So I’m off. I leave this afternoon and I won’t be back for two whole weeks. I may be able to update a little though, so check back oh! And I fixed the archive problem, go and read the old entries.

Bye!!!!! Miss me! Keep Checking, I will try to at least post a couple of times a week.

Oh, Yeah! HAPPY JULY 4TH !!!!!! May You All Dance In The Glow Of A Thousand Fireworks!!! Be Safe – come back with the same fingers and all the eyes you started off with! Eat Some Food Outside! Wrap yourself Non-Ironically in the flag of your choice and twirl!

Thursday, July 3, 2003

Not just one way to get a cat on a plane

I was brainstorming. A pet is only a pet if I declare it to be a pet. I could claim the kitty was one of the following:

A Designer Purse - He is essentially boneless. He hangs quite well off my arm and I think I could make it work. I will have my ID on my person, so they can make sure I have not changed my identity it the five minutes since it was last checked – and on this, everyone checks my license, they don’t have a list of who is supposed to be there, I could have any number of various ID things. Whatever. Back to the purse idea. Kitty, if properly sedated, could be a lovely clutch purse under my arm, or something with straps – he has very long limbs. I could tape his limbs together and make him into something sporty. He could also be a backpack or a fanny pack. The PETA freaks wouldn’t like it, but could they feel good about throwing paint on a helpless animal?

A Fun Fur collar - Kitty has acted in this capacity in the past, it was 38 degrees in my living room at the time, but it is familiar with the part. I am very cold natured.

A travel pillow - I could be a woman who “has everything” and I have a black fur travel pillow. Properly sedated, Kitty would be a natural. He’s fluffy, he’s squishy, and he’s warm. He can sleep for hours anyway, this way he could be both sleeping and working. I could just be a wacky cat person, a wacky cat person bringing her cat with her!

A Back Pack - An ergonomic back pack. I wear it on the front. It looks like a Cat because I bought it at one of those annoying teenybopper stores and this was all they had. I think its tacky as hell, but what can I do? It was on sale.

A Hat - again, easier in the winter. But, I do come from the south and I could conceivably have an odd idea of what constituteswinter.

Another Pillow - I am an Interior Designer. I am carrying this to a client. This is just the most clever thing ever? One of those “fur” throw pillows that are in the stores, never seen one in an actual residents, but they are in stores. When balled up on the couch he does achieve a certain throw pillowesque quality.

Animatronics -I could work for an up and coming toy manufacturer and I am taking a very important new technology to a toy fair. I am carrying it out in the open because it does look so real, my competitors won’t know it’s really a toy! No, I can’t show you how it works, its very hush, hush. Just be satisfied it is just a toy.

A very furry baby - Who would question the Mother of a tragically furry baby?! This is actually a very workable solution. I started off trying to swaddle the kitty, it turns out, cats don’t like being swaddled! Kitty would have preferred I carried him around in my jaws. That is not an option. I do not want to try to pass off as a bearded lady. I then tried to put baby clothes; actually I tried him out in one of my baby tees. This, to Kitty was dangerously close to swaddling and he wasn’t having it. After dragging him from behind the upstairs toilet, I went with a baby nightgown. I felt that this was a good middle ground; it tied at the bottom part and gave him a lot of room for his hind end. I thought this would be our solution. After I dragged the cat from under the clothes dryer in the basement, I thought about a Snuggly – a bit to close to swaddly.

The doctors said I will recover from the blood loss and that eventually Kitty will come out from behind the refrigerator.

Wednesday, July 2, 2003

Dog Gone, Tired

Operation Dog Gone has left the building. We packed up Daisy and all her stuff, my Dog has stuff, two different leashes, two different collars, bowls, food, toys, cookies, her crate.

It made me wonder if I could just get away with a folding crib for her. Just turn it upside down and weigh it down with something. She might chew it though. Those things aren’t made for an 11 month old with all her teeth and a jaw like a steel trap.

Mr. Kitty for his part seems happy. No dog, less dog smell, no dog. Pretty much the No Dog part is what seems to be putting the wind in his sails. The office is filthy. Someone, not me, put some newspaper down in the crate. Daisy loved her new toy. Now it’s all over my floor. It looks even more like a bus station then it usually does.

To celebrate her trip Daisy spent last night singing. Whining, actually. All.Night.Long. I took her outside after midnight, I tried to lie down next to her box. I shut her door, I ignored her. She Whined. All. Night. Long. I had to get up early to help my parents. I had a very long morning.

It is so quite. Daisy has left the building. I don’t have to come right home after work to put her out. She’s going to be on vacation longer then I will.

I feel like I left my kid with a sitter. I’m going to miss her, but right now, it’s kind of nice.

In the mean time, I need to tidy the place. Dogger made a huge mess in here. My parents are having an adventure in the car with her. I halfway expected a phone call from somewhere on the road today saying what a horror she was being. She’s going to spend the night in the truck. By Herself. I have mentioned her teeth and jaws? My real concern is that my parents are going to get busted for leaving the dog in the truck all night. They ticket and worse for that. I keep waiting for the phone to ring.

Since Daisy is not here to need to walk, I mailed my bills on the way home instead of saving them for the walk later. I’m going to need to get in the habit of walking myself everyday. That will be harder. In this neighborhood the only people walking themselves, are also talking to themselves.

Why haven’t they called? I bet the dog got out of the truck at a rest stop and got hit by a semi. She jumped over the seat and made my Dad loose control of the truck and now they’re all dead in a ditch somewhere.

She is going to pee all over the truck. Stink it up and they will never take her anywhere again. I bet she whined the whole trip. If it got really old last night, I can only imagine for 700 miles.

WAAAHHHH! Why Haven’t They Called Me?

I haven’t even thought about how hard it is going to be without Kitty for the two weeks. And how hard it will be for Kitty without me. He gets so lonely. Broskey and Alphagal are going down to my parents house the weekend. Who pray, is going to be watching my kitty while they are gone? He hates being left alone.

I all ready miss Kitty and he’s right here. It’s going to be a long vacation. How about if I dress Kitty in a baby dress and get a Snuggly thing, is there any chance I could sneak him in? Tiny babies make meowing noises. Siiiiiiigggggghhhhhhhhh. WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! What have they done to my dog? What has my dog done to them?

Tuesday, July 1, 2003

It’s not Friday, but…

Due to the fact that I have guestage in the house in the middle of the week guaranteed to throw me off under the best of circumstances, and adding to the general busyness around the old homeplace, I gave blood today. Pin a rose on me.

So off we go to my friend, the On Tuesday.
I believe this is from February 14, 2003.

Explain why you started to Journal/Blog

Because of an over whelming desire to get a board a culture zeitgeist! with out catching a popular strain of the Panic!Virus du jour. No actually, my cousin, SSG Cuz was in Iraq or thereabouts in a tent, and he was sending these amazing emails while he was waiting to be shot at and he was funny and insightful and all those things I thought I could also be good at and I was just sitting in my living room waiting for Law and Order to come on while my brain dripped out my ears, and started to think that if he could do it, under those circumstances, I should be able to do it too. So I did, April 15th. I would say “Get thee to the archives and feast yon eyes upon the greatness”, but that would be a big lie and the archives are not accessible. Darn the Luck!

Does your family and people you work with know about your blog?

Of Course Not! actually, My Mom corrects my spelling. Spell Check is extra and I don’t have extra. I told one of my friends at work about it but she doesn’t read it. No one else at work knows, because I don’t really think I want critiques from The Mouth That Roars, The Nominal Boss, or Good And Plenty. I did send out a massive, well, everyone I thought would possibly read it from my address book. And then of course there are the 3200 Blog Sites I signed myself up for. I think Broskey and Alphagal read it.

Does your blog have a theme?

Is it supposed to? I don’t have a theme unless Train crash of Thought is a theme. I list the site on those Blog Sites as “ One Part Humor, One part Rants, should get you Humorous Rants”. I have ranted in the past, and I do try for the humor. I would like a theme song that would play when you read it, like a TV Theme. That would be cool. Any suggestions?

What are five of your favorite blogs?

Go to DHAK, directly to your right. I check there everyday and there is always something new. It has 43 contributors and they all rock hard. Read any of them. Read All of Them.

Hmm. That was only four. What did I do with the other one? Okay, Give Blood, they really, really need you. They needed me and I give only about every 18 months. If they called me, they need people bad. It doesn’t hurt, you get free soda and it’s a nice thing to do.